ICM - Leeds Design Agency

So it’s day two of a wonderful rail-replacement service between Shipley and Leeds stations due to flooding. The coaches provided are fantastic, almost too good – you could travel across Europe in one of these beauties!

Unfortunately the drivers of these luxury liners don’t seem to have been to Leeds before, something you would think Northern Rail may have enquired about before hiring them?!

Yesterday was just about bearable, two hours of solid traffic through Shipley, Calverley, Rodley, Kirkstall and Leeds centre, after which I was almost ready to kill.

Today was different altogether.

I’ll get up earlier, I’ll jump on a coach earlier, the traffic through Kirkstall will be quieter, I won’t feel the need to kill just a I greet my workmates!

How wrong could I be?

Things started well, the driver turned the right way out of the station car park, all was quiet (it is still before 7am) and then all of a sudden the electronic voice of an ill-programmed satnav piped up with “turn right then right again”.

More silence. I thought to myself ‘he won’t turn right, that’s Bradford, he’s probably left it switched on from his journey into Shipley earlier’.

Again, how wrong could I be?

The driver, obviously a romantic old fool, thought it would be nice for us to watch the sunrise behind Emley Moor transmitter. And so we all get a chance to see it, he used his mighty Tomtom to navigate us into one of West Yorkshire’s busiest traffic interchanges at Birstall!

After much more stationary traffic (called the M621), he obeyed the satnav to the very last yard and brought us into Leeds by the busiest route possible.

Upon nearing Leeds station, one passenger towards the back of the coach (it’s always the one’s at the back) obviously was beginning to lose it – ‘Look, it’s left ‘ere mate!’

‘It’s okay’, says our driver, ‘I know where I am now‘

Thankfully I managed to control my thoughts of murdering both him and his dashboard gadget of incompetence and joined in with my fellow passengers in welcoming the driver on his first ever visit to Leeds.

Please Northern Rail, reopen the line as soon as possible. Train drivers might be a bit miserable but they’ve no problem with their sense of direction!